Restraining orders offer protection
against abusers

Last year, before a vigil to honor her murdered niece, Maria Lugo con­cluded, “restraining orders are no good.”

Her niece Elizabeth Delgado had been killed by Edwin Perez, five days after he had been released from prison for violating the restraining order she had against him.

Restraining orders are not a talis­man against violence. They are a tool. And people who work with battered women say they work. But they said they are not for everyone. Sometimes they can incite.

And they say the most dangerous time for a woman is when she is try­ing to leave because in her abuser's mind, she's trying to pry away his control.

That's why it's important for a woman to know her abuser and un­derstand what effect taking out a restraining order might have.

“If a guy wants to kill you, he's going to kill you. A piece of paper isn't going to stop him,” said Carolyn Cartelli, who helps women through the process of obtaining an order which needs to be granted by a judge.

Edie Jennings-Wigfall from Woman­shelter Companeras in Holyoke said she thinks the media overemphasize when restraining orders don't work, when they work more often than they don't.

She said a man who has been in jail repeatedly might get home and beat his wife again and could care less about a restraining order.

“Others have a reputation in the community and wouldn't want their names to be in the newspaper.”

Jennings-Wigfall said other than a restraining order, a woman's only other option is to flee either to a shel­ter, a friend or relative's house or if necessary out of state, which some­times happens. And even distance is no guarantee.

Cartelli said it's important for a woman to do something as soon as she is abused. “Clearly the more success­ful, the earlier they get help.” This helps stop the cycle of violence.

Restraining orders can bar an a­buser from contacting the abused person, from visiting that person's workplace or home or they can simply order the abuser from battering, while allowing the man to stay at home. Men and women have asked for the orders, but they are mostly requested by women.

With a restraining order, “They don't have to be out of control (for police to arrest him),” said Cartelli. He will be arrested for being there. Without an order police need to have what is called probable cause to be­lieve he has hit her.

Also, Jennings-Wigfall said that women have to help the process by spreading the word to friends, neigh­bors, co-workers, day care teachers that a restraining order is in place. This way, they can alert police if they should see him about, she said. This all helps keep the abused person safe.

This is how the process works.

A woman seeking some sort of re­straint needs to file for what's called a 209A. And she can do that through the clerk's office in courts. In shelters and in some courts, she can get help filling out the 10-part form.

In Springfield, for example, advo­cates will provide individual counsel­ing, if they can, or will address a num­ber of women gathered there depend­ing on how many happen to be there seeking help. Mondays are usually busy days, with three or four women seeking help at any one time.The hope is the women will help provide support, Cartelli said. The thinking is “if a person is getting enough support, they're more likely to hang in there,” she said.

They listen. “I don't know what he's going to do when he comes home, especially when he's drunk.” They hear the stories of the threats, over and over again, a woman tells the story of how her boyfriend or husband has threatened to kill her.

And they will question a woman who wants to drop an order, asking if she is sure and then suggesting per­haps she at least retain the clause that bars her abuser from hitting her.

After filling out the form, the advo­cate will accompany the woman to the court and the judge will listen to her request. If the judge thinks one is warranted, he or she will issue one for 10 days. Within that time, police have to contact the abuser giving him a copy of the order and notifying him of the return court appearance. At that time, the judge will listen to both the abuser and the abused. The judge then will determine whether to grant the order, which can last for up to a year.

If the alleged abuser has not been notified because he can't be found, police will again try. They, by law, are required to notify the alleged abuser six times, before returning the paperwork. The officer will again be asked to find the alleged abuser an­other six times. This will be repeated until he is found. If the abuser is notified but does not show up, the judge will grant the order for up to a year, depending on what the victim wants.

But, as Cartelli said, not all women feel comfortable with an order. Women have come to her to drop orders because they feel safer. Car­telli told a story of a woman who said when she has a restraining order out, she's always looking over her shoulder in fear. But if he's living with her, she knows where he is and she knows the pattern of the violence. And she feels safer. Cartelli said advocates will call women a day before the re­turn hearing reminding them about it and asking if they plan to come back. She thinks those calls help. She said sometimes women don't trust the system and those calls make them feel better about it. Between 60 and 70 percent of the women who come in for an order come back for the second hearing, she said.

Besides offering some protection for a woman, a restraining order sends a message, Cartelli said. It helps raise awareness that it's criminal to beat a spouse, partner or girlfriend.

­Lederman

 

 

Courtesy of Sunday Republican 5/1/94

 

 

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